Sunday, December 30, 2007

Giants Lose to Undefeated Pats

I was really happy and proud of how the New York Giants played last night against the undefeated New England Patriots. They played as aggressive as I've seen them all season long. Eli was accurate, outplayed Tom Brady and didn't make a lot of mistakes - besides the one INT he had.

And if it wasn't for some poor calls and non calls by the referees, who let the Pats get away with murder on a number of occassions - Rodney Harrison is a dirty, dirty player - I think that the Giants could have won tonight. The refs were just absolutely atrocious from calling phantom holding penalties and personal fouls on the Giants to allowing the Patriots to get away with poking the Giants in the eye, hitting them out of bounds and a number of other poor calls. It was apparent that the NFL wanted the Pats to go undefeated. Many of the 15 people who were over our place last night - many who are not Giants fans - agreed with me.

Whatever the case may be, I think there were a lot of positives that came out of this moral victory and it will bode well for the G-Men in their playoff game next week against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Go Giants!!

Friday, December 28, 2007

A Sad Day

I watched Jim Leyritz hit that big, big homerun - probably one of the biggest homeruns I've ever seen -- against the Atlanta Braves in game 4 of the 1996 World Series. The Yankees were trailing the series 2-1 and Leyritz's 3-run homerun pretty much resurrected the team, helping them win their first series since 1978. I've heard Leyritz speak about that moment since then and he definitely believes that was the defining moment of his career.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the defining moment of his life as today he was charged with DUI manslaughter after killing a woman while driving his car under the influence. My thoughts and praying go out to the family of the woman who was killed.

God sure is humbling.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Behind the Music: Kitty Terrorists

Bella Sparxx and Thunder Bolt came from humble roots. Both grew up in small suburban New Jersey communities with a love of music. Thunder started playing the electric guitar at the tender age of 3. Bella began her crooning as soon as she could speak recording such pop favorites as "Oops, I did it in my diaper again" and "Crawl"

Years later, the two future superstars met and fell in love at the University of Maryland. They soon began sharing their joint passion for music and started a band called Savage Animal. After graduating from college, the band had a few unsuccessful stints in small nightclubs around the country before a freak eel-related death of the band's lead singer, Sebastian Bonaparte, put the future of the band in jeopardy. After a year of deliberation, Bella and Thunder decided to continue to perform in Sebastian's memory going on to form the Kitty Terrorists.

The Kitty Terrorists began their tour of the country yesterday playing such hits as Weezer's Say it Ain't So and Nirvana's In Bloom to a sold out New York crowd. Time with tell if the band's instant success will lead to plenty of mind bending drugs, debauchery and sex with fish.

Note from The Paperboy: Yes, I received XBox 360's Rock Band, the newest rhythm-based game, for Christmas and my wife and I are already nuts over it.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Walk Out of the Movie Theater: The Dewey Cox Story

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. After we spent the day with our family, we went to the movies to see Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story...and it nearly ruined our nice Christmas.

It was quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen before. I can't even explain how bad it was. There were a few laughs, and while the movie tried to be a Naked Gun type of movie it was just god awful in every way possible. We didn't leave early, but I definitely wanted to.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Giants Clinch 3rd Straight Playoff Appearance

As they have all season, the Giants used a strong running game and a great defensive effort to win a game. Today against the Buffalo Bills, the Giants won 38-21 despite fighting off the rain, snow, hurricane force winds and a another subpar effort by QB Eli Manning. How anyone could live in Buffalo is beyond me.

I don't even know what to say about Eli. He's shown flashes of being a great QB in many games in his 4 yard career, but he put up another horrible game today against the Bills, throwing for a little over 100 yards, 2 interceptions and 2 fumbles - one which wasn't his fault.

It seems like every game he fumbles at least once and it's definitely something that is disconcerting. It's obvious that around the 2nd quarter, the Giants coaches realized that Eli wasn't going to win the game for him so they went exclusively to the running game.

And it turned out to work for the G-Men as the Bills couldn't stop Brandon Jacobs or 7th round draft pick Ahmad Bradshaw - the second coming of Tiki Barber - at all. On the day, Jacobs racked up 145 yards including a 43 TD rumble. He was outdone by Bradshaw who ran for 151 yards, including an awesome 88 yard TD sprint.

Next week will be tough with the Giants going against the 15-0 New England Patriots. It'll be interesting to see if the team rest Plaxico Burress and the rest of their injured players. I think that they should.

After that it's off to face the Tampa Bay Bucaneers on January 5th in the first round of the playoffs. Anything's possible in that game, but Eli better shape up fast if the team has any chance at all at advancing deep into the playoffs.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Entertain Me ...with Juno

I don't remember the last time that I eagerly anticipated a movie as much as I anticipated Juno. Usually when I have high expectations for a movie - or anything these days for that matter - I end up being tremendously disappointed. I'm happy to say that last night, the wife and I saw Juno with Smelmooo and Tangent Woman and I thought that the movie was really great.

I'm a crazy person when it comes to liking films and usually end up feeling a lot of movies are just blah and tremendously overhyped. It's been awhile since I truly saw a movie that I truly loved. I must say that I loved Juno.

I thought that the script was both witty and emotional. The acting was excellent. The plot was interesting. And I thought that Ellen Page who played Juno MacGuff was tremendous.

I highly recommend Juno to anyone looking for a good flick. I honestly think it's the movie of the year.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Ruin Tony Romo!

I hate Tony Romo and everything that the little bastard stands for, so I wanted to pass this funny website on:

I don't know what it is about him.
Maybe it's his stupid little smile or his unorthodox throwing style that has made him success in his first two years as the Cowboys QB.
Maybe it's the fact that I hate the Cowboys.
Maybe it's the fact that you just know he was the type of kid who had his chocolate milk stolen in kindergarten and was the type of kid that took many face plants into his locker in high school.
Or maybe it's just the fact that he makes milions of dollars a year and bangs any blond country singer that moves.
Simply put, I hate the little bastard. So, I implore you to join the campaign to ruin Tony Romo!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Is That Winstrol in Your Pocket ...

When I was growing up I watched Nails – Lenny Dykstra – patrol centerfield for the New York Mets. He was awesome to watch, but everyone knew he was on something.

I saw the A's Bash Brothers smash their steroid induced biceps into each other after each homerun.

When I was in college, like the rest of the country, I eagerly watched and rooted for Mark McGwire in his pursuit of the Maris homerun record.

I named countless fantasy baseball teams Roid Rage because I thought it was funny.

Everyone knew that steroids and other performance enhancing drugs were a part of baseball in the 1990s and early 2000s. And no one – who had the responsibility and ability to do so (like the Commissioner of Baseball) did anything about it. It's a simple fact and that's why I have no idea why it's such a big deal now.
Listen, I think that taking steroids and HGH is simply disgusting. But it’s a fact of life that when you have millions of dollars separating punch and judy hitters from big bashers, athletes are going to try to get that edge. ...Even if their balls shrink up as a result.

If athletes don’t care about their bodies, why the fuck should I care about them. My role as a fan isn’t to be the moral compass for athletes or to say that athletes are my idols and should make a good example for young kids. It's to root for my favorite team.

This Mitchell Report “scandal” is the latest in the “fake outrage news” that seems to be so prevalent these days where people cry “Why….why!!! when they should be worrying about things that make a real difference in our lives. What’s going in Iraq lately? How are those poor people still doing in New Orleans? Does any of this matter anymore?

Yes, I know that Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and a number of former Yankees were named in the report and I’m not trying to bury that fact in this blog. What most people fail to realize is that while there were former Yankees in the report many of them weren’t even freaking Yankees when these alleged acts happened. And because of that performance enhancing drugs had little to no effect on the team’s dynasty in the late 90s.

On his NY Daily News blog (, Yankees writer Mark Feinsand made this point more concisely then I could so I’ll just quote what he said in his blog: “People will make up their own minds when it comes to these players. But what about the teams they played for? A look at the four Yankees title teams in the Joe Torre era show several players in this report on those rosters: 1996: Andy Pettitte; 1998: Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch, Mike Stanton, Darren Holmes; 1999: Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch, Roger Clemens, Mike Stanton, Jason Grimsley, Daniel Naulty; 2000: Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch, Roger Clemens, Mike Stanton, Jason Grimsley, David Justice, Jose Canseco, Glenallen Hill, Denny Neagle. That looks pretty bad. But is it? According to the report, Knoblauch’s first purchase of HGH came in 2001. That would mean he was clean during the title years. Same with Justice, who reportedly didn’t meet Kirk Radomski until after the 2000 World Series. Pettitte’s usage was in 2002, according to the report, while Hill’s purchase from Radomski came in 2001, after he had left the Yankees.”
I couldn’t have said it better.

The Exciting Conclusion to My Poker Cliffhanger

Here's my conclusion to what loyal reader Chosen One calls a cliffhanger...
Before my friend went all-in, I looked at him and told him to think back to two years ago to try to figure out what I had. People laughed at my comment at the time. After my friend went all-in, the comment was thrown right back in my face and I was faced with a big decision to make. Part of me knew that my friend was an aggressive player and wasn't calling my $5 turn bet with just a K and a lower card.
I sat back for at least a minute to try to figure out what to do. There was a 7, 9, 10, Q and J on the board. There was no flush possibility. No full house possibility. The only card that could have hurt me was a King and any other card.
In the end, I honestly thought that he didn't have a King because of the way he played the hand. And even if he did have a King to beat me with a higher straight, I was happy that I had a great night with some old friends and could stand to lose only about $10 on the night. What's $10 to a millionaire anyway, right? ...kidding.

So, I called my friend's $14.50 bet making the pot more than $45. I immediately turned over my 6,8 offsuit and my friends reaction before he turned over his cards told me that my low straight was good.

Here were his two cards.

The cards gave him 2-pair Jacks over 9s and I took home a sizable pot to end the night!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Poker Scenario

I played poker with some old friends last Wednesday and ended up with an interesting hand at the end of the night. We played a range of games during the night including pot limit Hold Em, Screw Thy Neighbor, Queen and the Follow, Baseball, Omaha and Auction. Near the end of the night as people started to get loopy so we played a bunch of hands of pot-limit hold 'em....and that's where it really got interesting.

In what turned out to be the last hand of the night, I got 6, 8 offsuit on the button.

It's a hand that I normally never play, but with the 25 cent ante and only needing to call an extra 50 cent raise, I kept the hand. And it turned out to be the right move as I got a great flop:

With four cards to a straight, I decided to play aggressively and when it was checked around to me, I bet $1 into the $1.75 pot. Everyone called my and then I caught my straight!

Once again, everyone checked around to me. This time, I wasn't shy about betting and put $5 into a $6.75 pot. Everyone folded except one of my friends who I hadn't played poker with in two years. He thought about it for 1-2 minutes and then decided to call my $5 bet.

I was hoping that the last card wouldn't be close to the ones currently on the board as I was worried about getting beat by a higher straight, but alas my fears were realized.

My friend thought about it for another minute and then went all-in with $14.50 of his money to make the pot more than $31 dollars. I had $29 left in front of me and was basically up $9 on the night. What could my friend possibly have? Should I call his $14.50 all-in? Did that Jack improve his hand? Was he holding A,K or K,Q to give him a better straight than me? Or did he have me beat all along and was I just basically throwing my money away?

What would you do in my position? Tune in tomorrow for the mind bending conclusion to my tale.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Entertain Me With Mass Effect

When I first got Mass Effect for the Xbox 360, I wasn’t impressed at all with it.

The story was good. It was fun to pick certain responses to conversations and questions like you were playing an interactive Choose Your Own Adventure book from back in the 1980s. But I felt from the start that the game suffered from difficulty in aiming and shooting your weapons, various graphical glitches and some issues I had with the controller.

Then when I got 10 hours or so into the game, I fell in love with it and started talking to my friends about how it should take home the Game of the Year honors versus such critically lauded successes as BioShock and Halo 3. The story was still great, the weapons started to get better – almost too good as you didn’t even have to aim any longer – and I had forgotten about the graphical glitches. I felt like my decisions made a difference in how the story played out.

I finished the game this weekend and in the end, I felt less than excited about it. The game took 20 hours to complete, which is about double a normal game, but still wasn’t up to snuff with the length of other roleplaying games like Oblivion and Blue Dragon.

Over the course of the last few weeks I have been switching back and forth between playing Mass Effect and Blue Dragon. I’ll be back soon with a full review of Blue Dragon, but I can tell you now, I have enjoyed playing Blue Dragon more than I have enjoyed playing Mass Effect.

Mass Effect was a great game – don’t get me wrong – but I just felt completely unfulfilled at the end of the game. That shouldn’t happen with a Game of the Year. …Back in a few with a Blue Dragon review and at the end of the month with my Game of the Year blog.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Giants Break Wind Against Redskins

The Giants do not look like a team that is 9-5. And they are team that will do nothing in the playoffs, in the event that they actually do make the playoffs.

Eli was terrible, but so were the rest of the Giants. Last night, in a windy Meadowlands, the Giants did everything wrong. They could not catch the ball to save their lives. Eli threw 34 incomplete passes, half of which were bad throws, half that were knocked down by the wind and the other half that were just bad, bad drops by Toomer, Jacobs, Matthews and a slew of other Giants. How many halves is that?

And Shockey broke his leg and is out for the season....Could it get any worse?

Never fear Smelmooo....I'm sure you'll see a full 10 page blog comment from the Chosen One about the game. Does Blogspot have a limit to words you can write in the comment section. I hope so.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Our Annual Holiday Sojourn to NYC

The wife and I took our annual holiday sojourn into the City yesterday and saw the tree at Rockerfeller Center, the Bryant Park outdoor mall, FAO Schwartz and the Christmas windows for Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue and Lord and Taylor's. ...along with 2 billion other people.

We also had a star sighting at FAO Schwartz as we saw Hillary Swank picking out a toy with a little kid. My wife was star struck and for me it was pretty interesting to see a celebrity in person in a normal person place.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

A Proposal for the Chosen One

Chosen One,

Since you so loyally read my blog on a daily basis, I'm going to offer you the chance of a lifetime. If the Redskins beat the Giants this weekend, I won't write a blog about the game. What I will do is give you the exclusive chance to hijack Deliveries from the Paperboy for one blog entry so you can write your thoughts on the game.

Of course, I need something in return if the Giants do end up beating the Redskins like they should. Any thoughts on my end of the bet and are you interested in this deal?


Go Elf Yourself!

Merry Christmas to Everyone. Check out this funny link of me and Megan dancing like freaking elfs:

Monday, December 10, 2007

Giants Sweep Season Series Vs. Eagles

While the Giants defense didn't rack up 12 sacks like they did last time against the Eagles, they did come up big once again in yesterday’s 16-13 win against the Philadelphia Eagles. The team got some luck when Brian Westbrook fumbled for the first time in 550+ attempts and a double dose of luck after David Akers clanged a 56 yard FG off the right post.
In the end though, I really think it was a game that the Giants should have blown out the Eagles. The problem though was that once the offense got within the Eagles 20 yard line, they failed to score on 3 out of 4 occasions.

Despite their ineptness in the Red Zone, tEli played well connecting with his favorite target Plaxico Burress. Burress, who has suffered a number of subpart games as of late due to a nagging ankle injury, came up big with 130+ receiving yards and 1 TD. If he was at full strength, he definitely could have taken home two more TDs.

I’m still not completely comfortable with this team, especially in the playoffs, but a win is a win and with a 9-4 record the Giants are one of the Top 10 teams in the league. Next week, we face the Todd Collins’-led – Todd Collins? – Redskins in a very winnable game.

Is it me or doesn’t Todd Collins look like Tim Couch? Hopefully, he plays better than Tim Couch next week.

Smelmooo's Guinea Pig Dinner

We went to Smelmooo and Tangent Woman's famous Guinea Pig dinner for the second straight year on Saturday night and really enjoyed ourselves.

Smelmooo and Tangent Woman host a Guinea Pig dinner every year with their closest of the mostest friends to be test subjects for their family XMAS party each year. This year, the menu featured Prime Rib, Mac and Cheese with Lobster, Shrimp and Crabmeat, Sausage Stuffing and various other things. For the appetizers there was dates filled with bread crumbs and goat cheese, shrimp cocktail and other various cheeses. The dates filled with bread crumbs and goat cheese appetizer was definitely one flavor that I had never experienced before.
And let me just tell you about the Mac and Cheese with Seafood. ... It might have been one of the best things I've ever eaten. It definitely made its way onto my final meal on Death Row menu along with Cluck U Chicken and Cherry Coke.

Hopefully this awesome review and my everlasting bond with Smelmooo will get us invited back to next year's Guinea Pig dinner.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

In Response to the Chosen One

Chosen One,

As a world famous journalist - you can tell by the high number of traffic received on this blog - I usually do not respond directly to comments posted on my blog by web surfers, but I figured that I would respond to your comment.

I have posted 3 blogs about Giants losses before and was planning to post a blog after the terrible Giants loss to the Minnesota Vikings, but didn't feel up to it. I was royally pissed after Eli's 4 picks, 3 of which were returned for TDs as you surely saw. Eli has had some good games this year, he's had some average ones and he's had some bad ones. The game against the Vikings was a horrific one and he continued that horrific streak in the first 3 quarters against the Bears before he staged a tremendous comeback - the eighth comeback win in his 28 wins as the Giants QB.

Before it's all said and done, he'll be the best QB in Giants history. Mark it down.

I hope this answers your question.

-The 30 Year Old Paperboy

Don't Trade Phil Hughes

I know Johan Santana is one of the best pitchers in baseball, but I don't want to trade Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera and a third player for him. I'm tired for trading promising prospects for a pitcher that will give us a couple good years and then fall off. I'm just tired of it.
I hope the Yankees stick to their self imposed deadline and move on. I don't even care if the Red Sox get him. The Red Sox are just turning into the Yankees of 2000 by trying to compile a team of All Stars. Screw 'em and stick to your guns Yanks!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Eli Overcomes an UnBearable 3 Quarters

The Giants won a game today against the Chicago Bears that they had no business winning. For 3 quarters, Eli Manning played like absolute garbage. Derrick Ward coughed up the ball a bunch of times. It was a complete nightmare that I almost turned off. But through it all the Giants' solid defense keep the team's anemic offense in the game against the mediocre Bears.

Then in the fourth quarter, the Giants went to the no-huddle offense and like he did last year, Eli stepped it up. In the no-huddle offense - which during the past two seasons Eli has run with ease - Manning led the Giants on two late scoring drives to lead the team to a 21-16 win over the Bears.

Things would have been rough in New York this week on the team and definitely on Eli if they hadn't won. Hopefully the Giants coaching staff will lighten up and start running the no huddle offense in future weeks as for some reason it's something that Eli runs particularly well.

As I said at the beginning, this was absolutely positively a game that the Giants should have not won. And one that I was still planning to blog on if they had lost. ... But they didn't lose and at 8-4 the team finds itself with a 2 game lead in the Wild Card race.