Fantasizing in the Real World

I sat in front of the television last night at 11:30 p.m. and screamed in glee as New Orleans' Saints head coach Sean Payton had QB Drew Brees kneel the ball four times on the Dallas Cowboy's 3-yard line at the end of the Saints 42-17 romp last night...Not because I was happy that the Saints beat America's so called team, putting my Giants only 1 game out of 1st place in the NFC East, but because the Saints starting RB Deuce McAllister didn't run in for a meaningless TD to end the game, ending not only the game against the Cowboys, but also ending my fantasy football playoff hopes.

Yes, I really care more about the fact that Deuce McAllister didn't score another 6 points....not in real game points mind you, but 6 fantasy points. The reason for this is that my Round 1 fantasy playoff team - the Big Blue Towelies - ended up winning against my opponent - the Argos - by 3 little points. 3 points that separated one team going home and another team coming one game closer to the $350 First Place prize. So, my Towelies move onto Round 2 to face off against another fake team the Soup Nazi's .

And do you know why I care so much...because real money is involved and because I put countless hours of time reading magazines ad nauseum in the months of July and August of every year to catch up on the offseason of player trades, free agent signings and injury rehab. I care because there's also a ton of bragging rights involved with many of my friends who also play in my league. And I really care because I haven't put together a good fake team of real NFL players in years. It's pretty insane, but there were weeks this season when the Giants would lose, but I wouldn't be upset about it because my fantasy team won its weekly matchup.

I guess you could say that I'm invested in it both literally and figuratively...meaning if I lose in this year's playoffs, I'll probably pout about it for weeks on end.

Here's the team that I hope is taking me home to the promised land this NFL fake season:

Starting Lineup
QB - Philip Rivers
RB - Tiki Barber

RB - Frank Gore

WR - Steve Smith
WR - Donald Driver

K - Josh Brown

Def - Jacksonville

Bench

RB - Chester Taylor

WR - Plaxico Burress

WR - Randy Moss

Def - Minnesota

And, I haven't even told you about my other Fantasy Football team -- the P#ssy Trolls -- yet. To paraphrase Brick Tamlin from Anchorman, yes I have mental problems.