Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
If you watch the Yankees on the YES Network, you've probably seen the commercial for a hair growing product called Procede. If you watch any Yankee game I guarantee you've seen this commercial because it is literally on every single inning. I mean every single inning. And for some reason, I can't even look away when it's on. I can't even change the channel. It has me gripped by the hair follicles of my balls.
During the commercial, there's testimony from various users on how great the product is. Hawking the product is the supposedly famous Hollywood hairdresser named Giuseppe Franco. He is on the commercial hawking the product for a full 30 seconds and the funniest part of the commercial is when he says "I don't own the company. I don't know anything about it. But I know it's the best product for thinning hair."
My wife's version of the commercial is: "HEY I'M GIUSEPPE FRANCO! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS FUCKING COMPANY IS."
Rest assured that she's watched the commercial as nearly as many times as I have and is quite surely as annoyed with it as I am. I hope Giuseppe Franco uses the product and his entire head falls off. I hate you Giuseppe Franco. You too can hate Giuseppe Franco by viewing the YouTube clip of the commercial that I've posted above.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Going into next week's ALDS most likely against the Cleveland Indians, I'm extremely excited about this Yankee team. I haven't seen this type of team since the 2000 Yankees and I can feel that there's something magical about this team.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
After playing another 4 hours or so that night, I'm going to give you my early review of Halo 3. I've played only a little bit of the single player campaign and like it so far, but it's not much different than Halo 1 or 2. The graphics are slightly better and I definitely think the enemies react more realistically than they did in previous iterations of the game. Overall though, but I'm not falling over impressed with the single player campaign. Maybe I'll feel differently after spending a little more time with it.
What I am falling over impressed with is the multiplayer. It's similar to the past two Halo's, but the menus are much tighter, matchmaking is much better and they do a great, great job of charting your progress and success rate on the game and later on Bungie.net. They make you feel a great sense of reward and accomplishment. As you play, your skills are rated and you slowly but surely are promoted from the rank of Apprentice to General and Up.
Bungie.net literally has stats on how well you do on each map of the game, how well you do with specific weapons, etc. etc. I've played 30 or so online matches so far -- most of them taking 15-20 minutes - and have loved it. From King of the Hill to Capture the Flag to straight up shoot the other guy, the multiplayer is everything that it's cracked up to be.
New in this edition of Halo is the ability to tape your matches and later take screenshots of your crazy skills. You'll see a couple of those screenshots in this blog here. I'm a bad, bad man. If you see Tony B 23 on XBox Live, run away as fast as you can.
To sum things up, I believe a game is truly great when you're thinking about it when you're not playing it and when it holds your attention more than an hour or two. Halo 3 does both for me as I want to end this blog and my real day of work as soon as possible to play the game again. It'll be a part of my XBox library for at least the next two years - something that my wife won't enjoy hearing. When our newborn baby cries (in two years or so), I'll tell my wife I'll change the baby after I'm done beating down some aliens in Halo 3.
I guarantee it.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Are you in a damn hurry?
It’s a fist fight
And you’re going for just what’s right…
Can you see me in your sights?
And will you run from all your rights?
Why are you?
Yourself in a pheasant shaped box.
Fuck that heart shaped shit.
Guess only if you think you’re gone
And I bet you already figured out you were wrong.
It was a bad call
And you didn’t guess right
Was it out of fright?
Or just plain stupidity?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Something bad to me, meant an injury to LDT. Little did I know that the "something bad" happened months ago when the Chargers made the mistake of hiring Norv Turner, a hideous head coach with a 58-82 career record. It's true that Turner is a great offensive coordinator, but he is a notoriously horrible head coach.
In three short games as the new Chargers head coach this season, Turner has single handingly ruined the best player in fantasy football history along with ruining a Super Bowl Favorite. In 3 games, Tomlinson has 1 rushing TD and 130+ yards rushing. For the last 5 years under the Chargers former coach Marty Shottenheimer, that was Tomlinson's usual stat line for one game, not three. Instead, this year under Turner's regime, Tomlinson isn't running wild on the field, he's screaming at his QB on the sideline and moping in post-game press conference.
While my fantasy team has won the first two weeks of the season, it wasn't because of the usual dominance of Tomlinson. I'm on the edge of losing for the first time in Week 3 and I can tell you that I wouldn't have to worry about a loss this week if Tomlinson was up to his old reality bending 200+ yard, 3 TD games.
Damn you Norv Turner. Your head coaching skills suck.
On the offensive side of the ball for the Giants Eli Manning made a few bad decisions today ending the day with 232 yards, 1 TD and 2 Interceptions. Ultimately though, when it counted, he led the Giants to the victory today leading the team to 21 straight points after the Giants were down by 2 TDs to the Redskins in the 3rd Quarter. Jeremy Shockey had a decent day, but dropped a number of balls that were thrown directly to him. Plaxico had another big day with 5 catches for 86 yards and 1 TD.
The Giants are now 1-2 going into a big Sunday night game next week against the Philadelphia Eagles. It's another must-win for the team. Things don't look as bleak for team this week as it did last week...except for the Chosen One. Chosen One, tissues can be purchased at your nearest DC Quik Mart.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The first thing that you should know about Kid Nation is that there's a ton of crying on Kid Nation -- not as much crying though as is currently going on in Red Sox Nation.
The show starts off with 36 kids traveling out to an old ghost town in the middle of nowhere. After the kids get off the bus, the bus leaves and in comes in a helicopter with 4 kid leaders that were decided by the show's producers ahead of time. This immediately sets up an interesting dynamic where right off the bat, where the kids wonder why they didn't get a chance to pick their leaders. Somewhere Hugo Chavez is smiling.
After the kids travel a few miles or so to their new wild west home, they set off on finding places to sleep, cooking a dinner of mac and cheese for each other and getting to know one another. Kids cry. Kids bully each other. Some kids, who weren't selected as leaders by the show's producers, become leaders in their own right.
On the second day, the kids are involved in a Survivor-like capitalist challenge - are there no original ideas any longer? -- where they compete to see who becomes the upper class - with a high wage - all down to who is in the lower class. When the competition was completed and the kids were told they would have a Let's Make a Deal choice of having more outhouses or a television set, they surprised me by choosing the outhouses. It was many of the surprises that I saw in this show that confirmed for me that if adults were faced with the same decision they would pick the television set ... or Internet access if it was offered.
While it shares many of the same ideas as the been there and done that Survivor, I'm looking forward to watching to see how the show shapes up and if the kids are able to transform the old Wild West ghost town into a burgeoning township once again.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I ate the new Cheesy Beefy Melt from Taco Bell yesterday and let me just say it was AWESOME. Probably one of the best things that I've ever eaten from Taco Bell. It had nicely seasoned beef and wonderful melted cheese...It was delicious.
Having said that though, I warn you not to eat it. You'll regret it. Do not go within ten feet of a Taco Bell selling the Cheesy Beefy Melt. REPEAT. Do not eat it. Do not look cross eyed at it.
If you need me to go further than that and explain to you why I'm telling you this one day after I ate it, then I don't know what else to say to you.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Oh yes, the Yanks are Coming!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
There's not much else I can say about the game. I'm so pissed about it, I really don't want to write anything else. All I'll say is that the Giants are 0-2 now and they face a must-win next weekend against the Redskins. Can they beat the lowly Skins who could barely beat the Dolphins? Not if the Giants defense plays like it did the last two games. They couldn't beat a JV football team the way they played. ...Bring on the comments Chosen One. ...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Plaxico Burress regarding the number of injuries: "Hey, man, what do you want me to say? This ain't badminton."
Thursday, September 13, 2007
From 1994 until 2005 or so I wrote poetry for fun. I tried to write longer novels from time to time, but I have a crazy attention deficit disorder - ooh, look a bird - and could only hold my attention long enough for a page or so. While I started writing two novels - 1) The Heist and 2) Freshmeat - I never got further than 80 or so pages in each.
In total, I think I wrote nearly 500 poems, including "The Reasons Why I Love You – 7/23/05" which I read to my wife in front of a crowd of our 150 wedding guests. Since then I haven't written many poems...actually I haven't written any at all. But a couple weeks ago, I got the urge and wrote a couple.
I guess Robert Plant was right: "And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul, there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show, how everything still turns to gold....and if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last - Stairway to Heaven.
End up dead.
Up and down
What’s in the end is just a frown.
Mished up in a mash
Life’s gone in a flash.
It started way before you were ready
And it ended way, way too soon.
You think you might take awhile.
To figure things out.
But before you know it, it’s done
Before you show it, you’re shown up.
You’re ahead, but you’re not.
Because there’s someone just as good
It started way too soon.
And it already ended
And you know you missed it.
Sometimes I don’t know which way is up…
Sometimes the world moves so fast
And when I get there, I’m simply left with nothing.
It feels like things are always the same
But sometimes new comes around and drives me insane.
Sometimes I can’t figure anything out.
And sometimes I forget which way is up
Sometimes I realize how far and how fast I’ve come
And how long I've come.
I know sometimes I’ve taken risks
And I know sometimes I’ve felt blue.
I know I’ve climbed the mountain.
But sometimes I feel like I fell ass backwards into luck.
Sometimes I don’t know how I got here.
And sometimes I still realize that at times life can still suck.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The night before I had watched the New York Giants and play the Denver Broncos in the first Monday night football game of the year. I watched the Giants lose and watched Broncos Wide Receiver Ed McCafferty suffer a horrific broken leg during the game. I woke up that morning remembering how horrific it had looked on TV.
I left from my apartment in Arlington – three miles from the Pentagon – at around 8:20 a.m. and got into work a little before 9 a.m. On the way to work, I don’t remember if I listened to sports radio talk show or if I was listening to a CD. I know for sure that I didn’t hear anything about the events that were unfolding in America that morning.
When I got into work, my colleague Mark told us that a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. No one thought for a second that it dealt with terrorism. Still we went into a meeting at 9:30 and discussed during the meeting how nuts the news was.
By the time I got out of the meeting, we learned that a 2nd plane had flown into the Trade Center and another one had crashed into the Pentagon. Of course, we all knew then it dealt with terrorism. And the news instantly affected everyone in the office because of the Pentagon’s proximity to our office. The second we heard, I really think that all of us literally feared for our lives. We all wondered what would come next. Would a plane crash into the White House or Capitol? The CIA building was right down the street from us…Would something happen there? The scariest thing was the unknown.
So, for three hours, our small office sat in front of the radio listening to the news come in. I’ll never forget the face of my boss Alison when she told us that her sister heard a bomb go off in nearby Alexandria. In reality, I think it was the sonic boom of jets rushing to secure the U.S. airways. The entire morning was just surreal.
After hours of waiting for traffic to thin out around Arlington, I made the usual 15 miles trek home. Traffic wasn’t thin that afternoon though. As I drove down Glebe Road – a main thoroughfare in Arlington – a trip that usually took a half hour, took me three hours that afternoon. We were forced on numerous occasions to drive up on the curb to allow ambulances to get pass us on the way to the Pentagon. Traffic was packed and you could hear everyone tuned into the radio to listen to the news.
I got home after three hours and sat by myself in front of the TV watching the same images over and over. I was mesmerized. I was sickened. I was sad.
That day, as it did for millions of people, left an undeniable scar on my life. I didn’t know anyone who died in the Trade Center or the Pentagon. I didn’t know anyone on the planes that crashed. But at the time, I lived 3 miles from the Pentagon and grew up in the NYC area, so I felt as if I was somehow affected. To this day, I tear up when I think about that day. I can’t read anything about it. I’ll never watch movies about it. And I won’t watch it if it’s on the news.
Six years later, it’s still hard for me to look back and remember that day. I’m not sure when it will be easy.
Scars take time to heal. These scars are deep.
Monday, September 10, 2007
While the Giants juggernaut offense led by Eli Manning performed tremendously despite the early loss of Brandon Jacobs to a knee injury, the team couldn't make up for the ineptness of its horrendous defense. There were highlights to the game -- like Eli's 4 TDs and 314 yards passing and Plaxico Burress's 144 receiving yards and 3 TDs -- but they were only offensive highlights.
Tony Romo, who in my opinion is an average quarterback, looked like a freaking all-star last night throwing for 345 yards on 15 passes and 4 TDs. I know he was on the Pro Bowl last night, but is more deserving of that honor because of his catch of Carrie Underwood than for his football prowess. I can't even count how many times Terrell Owens and Jason Witten were completely wide open during the game. It's like the Giants defense didn't even prepare for the game. I won't even blame the first half injury to Osi Umeniyora for the Giants tremendous ineptness on defense. In total, the defense gave up 478 yards, sacked Romo ONCE, and allowed the most points in the first game of the season in the franchise's 83-year history
Late in the game, it got even worse as Eli went down with a shoulder injury in the 4th quarter. Hopefully all three injured Giants aren't out for an extended period of time because if they are the Giants season is over before it barely started .... God help us all.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Bioshock - I bought Bioshock for the XBox 360 a couple weeks ago and finished it last night. All I can say about it is that it was completely an awe-inspiring experience.
A few months ago, I'll admit that Bioshock wasn't a game that was a definite buy for me when I first heard about it (yes, I'm a dork and have a definite videogame buy list). One of the reasons that I didn't think it was a definite buy was because of the complete slew of first and third person shooters that are on the XBox 360. I'm tired of playing them and I generally like other types of games than straight up shooters.
The more I heard about Bioshock and the more I saw video for it, I thought that I would like it and at least give it a rental shot. After I read the reviews, many of which gave the game a solid 10 - which you never see with video game reviews - I knew that I had to buy the game.
Let me tell you one thing: Bioshock was a great, great game. From it's awesome graphics to its awesome sound, I thoroughly enjoyed playing the game for 20 or so hours. A lot of the reviews talk about how Bioshock is a different type of game because of the way that it makes you feel near the end of the game. When I read that, I thought it was simply P.R. jargon bullshit. When I actually experienced the end of the game though, I agreed.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
This season, he's hit a league leading 48 homeruns, driven in a league leading 134 RBIs and scored a league leading 127 runs. You get the picture. He's clearly the MVP of the American League this season and is the most menacing figure in the Yankees lineup. He's done more this year than in the past 3 seasons put together since he became a Yankee.
Tonight against the Seattle Mariners, he hit two homeruns in the same inning; one of which was a clutch bomb to Monument Park that tied the score at 2. In one of the most important games for the Yankees of the year, Alex came up big. Finally. Last night, he literally hit the longest homerun that I have ever seen, crushing a fastball seven rows into the upperdeck. I've sat in the upperdeck with Smelmooo before and I can tell you from nose bleed experience that the ball probably went 475, if not 500 feet. The second homerun gave him 512 homeruns tying him for 17th on the all-time list with baseball greats Eddie Matthews and Ernie Banks
This season, he's done everything that Yankee fans have been clamoring for him to do since he became a Yankee in 2004. It's true, it's still September. A lot could happen between now and the end of October. A whole lot of nothing could happen for the Yankees and A-Rod in the playoffs this season like it has in the past 3 years.
Maybe it will and maybe it won't happen. But I know one thing. I just convinced myself if A-Rod leaves the Yankees after the season I'll definitely cry.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
- Under Coughlin, Tiki lost 4 fumbles in 3 years, after losing 11 in the previous 3 years.
- Under Coughlin, Tiki rushed for 1518 yards in '04, 1860 in '05 and 1662 in '06.
- Under Coughlin, Tiki made the Pro Bowl three straight years.
And now that he's not on the Giants any longer, Tiki's taking every step possible to distract the team again. Seems to me that Tiki should be thanking Couglin rather than bashing him. So that's why I say, shut up Tiki Barber.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Whatever it is, we've seemed to not go to the movie theater as much as we used to. This summer we saw Knocked Up together and Hairspray and Die Hard 4 with our friends. No, I didn't see Hairspray. This past weekend we went on a couple date with Smelmooo and Tangent Woman to see Super Bad. While the company was awesome and our visit to Red Robin was terrific, I thought the movie was another story entirely.
Overall, Superbad was a funny movie with some great lines and immature humor. It wasn't the funniest movie ever. It wasn't even the funniest movie of the summer. For me, Knocked Up was funnier by leaps and bounds. Part of the reason for me was I thought that there were way too many slow parts in the movie. There would be a few funny lines followed by 10 minutes of mindless inaction. That fact along made it a Netflix rental for me rather than a must see movie theater movie. I'd give it 2 1/2 stars out of 4.
Maybe it would have been funnier if they allowed you to bring a bottle of wine to the theater. ...