Flying the Dangerous Skies...

The last day of our trip wasn't supposed to be eventful...But it was....

As you've seen by the blogs you've religiously read about our trip, we had an awesome, awesome time with tons of crazy stories to share. We thought we were done making stories....

It was the last day. All we had to do was go to the airport and fly home. We had driven 1,400 miles in our rental. We were tired. We were broke. We were just ready to go back to Jersey to see our beautiful cat. ....and then we experienced the Phoenix Sky International Airport.

I've travelled out of Newark Airport on numerous occassions and know the ins and outs of it like the back of my hand. You would think that security would be extremely tight at Newark because of obvious reasons -- because the Devils are set to open their arena there next year, right? But getting through Newark Airport a week prior was a piece of cake when you compared our experience at PHX.

When we arrived at the Continental counter at PHX, we were told that our 10:40 a.m. flight was cancelled and they were moving us onto a U.S. Airways flight. The Continental counter person told us that we'd have to switch flights and shouldn't worry that our ticket said the flight was leaving at 9 a.m. -- even though it was 8:30 at the time. So, I wasn't worried...Apparently PHX security was as well.

After we trucked it over to a different terminal, we attempted to check in and were promptly forced to get on yet another long line to check in. The second line we joined was full of pissed off Jerseyans who were in the same position that we were in. We finally reached the front of the line. I thought it was interesting when I looked at our boarding pass and saw an "SSSSSS" on it.

We got on yet another long security line and were told by the security screeners that we were being randomly chosen for extra screening. Turns out there wasn't anything random at all about it, as everyone who was in the second line with us who were also headed to New Jersey was also selected for extra screening. Talk about random...People in line with us said out loud, "It's not like we're terrorists at all." To me, that's as dumb as saying 10 years ago on a line that you had a bomb. It's the new taboo..

And apparently now, they're targeting Italian terrorists from Jersey. We waited in line for literally 10 minutes and then had to go through a high tech GE machine that puffed air at our faces to supposedly blow micro particles off of us into a collection machine. I'm sure the molecules they blew off me contained alcohol and XBox 360 manual dust.

After the high tech test, we waited as a screener swabbed every single item in our carry on bags. Thank God the Swedish penis enlarger was concealed in a false bottom of my bag. "How did that get in there? Honestly."

I hate airport security. I really do. I had the entire rigamarole they make you go through from taking off your shoes to emptying your pockets to making you take your laptop out of it's case. Our trip through Phoenix Sky International Airport made the experience so much worse.