Day 3: Did We Lose the Blame Canada War?

We woke up early the next day and drove 2+ hours from Sedona to Cameron for our next stop on the trip. On the way, we went through the Oak Creek Canyon, which was definitely scenic and beautiful. We got to Cameron thinking that the rim to the Grand Canyon was just a few miles away, but once we got there, we found out that we still had 3o plus miles to drive. On the trek from Cameron to the South Rim, we passed the Little Gorge of the Colorado River - the guy gets no respect from anyone since the Grand Canyon is just a few short miles away. We also passed a number of Navajo Indian stands and old movie sets from the Hills Have Eyes 1 and 2 - insert tough in cheek here.

Once we got to the Grand Canyon, our plan was to go on a hike into the Canyono. But after we arrived at East entrance near the South Rim around noon that day, we found out that they didn't advise that anyone hike inside the canyon between the hours of 10:30 and 4 p.m. We found out the next day exactly why they advised that. So instead of hiking into the canyon, we took a leisurely stroll around the Rim Trail of the Canyon. Most of the trail was paved and fairly flat, so it wasn't a big deal.

As it was the first time in my life that we had seen the Grand Caynon up close it definitely was an awe inspiring experience. It's on the Rim trail that we got the two best pictures from our trip. Both the picture found at the top and bottom of the blog were taken on a camera timer that my wife set up. Unfortunately the timer was only 10 seconds long, so my wife had to set the camera and literally run over to set herself up in the shot. I was neurotically worried that she would set up the camera and lose her footing and fling herself into the canyon (secretly because of her embarassment that her husband writes this crappy blog)...Thankfully, without incident, she safely made it into both shots.

One thing that we noted as we were making our way through the Rim Trail was the tremendous amount of foreigners that we heard speaking different languages on the trail. A large majority of them were Canadians speaking French. I felt for a second like we had lost the "Blame Canada" War made famous by South Park's Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

Tune in for tomorrow's harrowing story about our 3-mile journey into Mordor....How did Frodo ever do it??

Day 2: Are the Red Rocks for Real?

Prior to July 4th, my only knowledge of the Red Rocks came from the fact that Dave Matthews put out a Live Album at the Red Rocks a few years ago. I knew that and also that we would be visiting a place where the rocks were colored red...the name kinda gave it away.

When we arrived at the Red Rocks, I must say that I was taken aback by the view of the rocks from road into Sedona as well as the awesome view from our hotel balcony. I had no idea how truly awesome they were until we went on a tour of the Red Rock State Park.

On the second day in Sedona, we took a 2 hour Pink Jeep tour - apparently one of the most popular tours in Sedona - around the Park and I was taken completely aback by the beauty of the Red Rocks. For most of the trip, I didn't even believe that they were real. It's just really hard to put into words and I'll never do the feeling I had justice, so I'll leave it at that.

After the jeep tour, we hiked through Oak Creek Park -- about 15 miles from Red Rock State Park and had a decent time. It was an okay hike, but it was cut short because of the impending rain. Turns out though that it never actually rained except for a few drops. The wind though was howling like hell. We've never heard such a strong wind before. For me and the wife, it was yet another example of nature that you don't experience in New Jersey.

After hiking, we decided to enjoy the main street of Sedona. I'm not sure what the deal was, but there was NO ONE at all in Sedona on the Wednesday and Thursday that we were there. We had nice dinners both nights and the restaurants were completely empty and the streets made it feel like a ghost town.

...but our view of the Red Rocks during Wednesday and Thursday made our first stop on our 2007 Arizona Road Trip totally worth it. Stay tuned tomorrow for the stories about our first day at the Grand Canyon.

Day 1: Dry Heat is a Wet Dream

Vacation for the wife and I started dark and early on July 4th. ... 2:45 a.m. to be exact ... which isn't a horrible hour if you're slinging records as a nighttime disc jockey, but it's pretty horrible when you lay in bed until 11 p.m. or so and eventually drift off into a half sleep/half awake stupor. Then the alarm rings at such an ungodly hour and you feel like you want to merc someone.

I'm a pretty psychotic, nervous traveller, so the wife and I got to the airport around 4:30 for our 6:45 flight. After parking in P7 at Newark Airport, we proceeded to hop onto a bus to the Terminal and found ourselves on the set for Speed 3 - sans Sandra Bullock. You wouldn't think there wouldn't be too many people at the airport at 4:30 a.m., but there was and everyone was on our bus. And our bus driver refused to stop opening the door to more and more people. Soon, the bus was packed to the brim. I only partially remember it because I was still in a comatose state.

As we travelled to the airport, my wife noticed a strange smell on board. Some might say it smelled like the tires were about to catch on fire. Others might say we were in dire need of Keanu.

To put it simply, I'm not sure the brakes on our bus worked at all, because as we approached intersections, the bus driver laid on the horn like there was no tomorrow. To quote Kramer: "The bus was OUT OF CONTROL!"

At one point a guy standing next to us on the bus said out loud: "This is like some Speed shit up in here." Somehow, we managed to make it to our terminal. The flight went fine and we got to Phoenix at 9 a.m. in the morning when it was already 98 degrees on its way to a historic day high of 116 degrees.

We left Phoenix - which we discovered later in our trip sucked balls -- promptly and made our way for our first stop in Sedona. On the way, we saw nothing except open fields and cacti. It's pretty amazing when you see nothing on our trip. You could say that both my wife and I were shell shocked by the emptyness of it all. On the way to Sedona, we visited Tuzigoot National Monument and Montezuma's Castle - both of which were interesting because of our love for history and for the exciting opportunity to get the plague from the local squirrels.

When we finally arrived in Sedona our breath was completely taken away by the sight of the Red Rocks. We checked into our hotel and were greeted by an amazing view from our 5th floor hotel room. We had a lazy afternoon at the hotel enjoying the views and then ate at a local favorite - The Cowboy Club - where I enjoyed a buffalo filet mignon for the first time and a $120 bill.

I'll leave you with a photo of the view from our hotel room. These are four real pictures that I took and my wife stitched together. Yes, all of the red rocks in Sedona look like they are fake. Stay tuned for tomorrow's Day 2 blog on Rocky Roads and The Fake Peaks of Sedona. The wife has assured me that she may pop in for a guest blog or two, so stay tuned for that as well. ...

I'm Back Baby! I'm Back!

I'm back and our vacation was awesome! It was definitely one of our best and most active vacations ever. There was no laying on the beach drinking fruity drinks...that's for sure. From taking a jeep tour through the Red Rocks to hiking 3 miles into and back from the Grand Canyon to riding a horse through Monument Valley like John Wayne, it was an awe-inspiring experience.

My plan is to post a daily blog about each day of the vacation and put pictures to go along with the stories....if I can get the damn photo software to work on my computer.

Will be back later today after I get through my 200+ work emails with stories of Day 1: From Speed 3 at Newark Liberty Airport to the Mountains of Sedona.

I'm Back....for a Minute

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. I know there's those of you out there that can't get through the day without reading my witty blogs, so I figured that I would give you one last blog before I hit the road for the Grand Canyon. My wife are headed out to Arizona early tomorrow morning, -- before even the butt crack of dawn -- and we're really looking forward to it. We're landing in Phoenix and then road tripping it from Phoenix to Sedona for 2 days. Then from Sedona to Grand Canyon for 2 days. Then to Monument Valley for 1 day and back to Sedona and Phoenix for another day each.

It's supposed to be between 100-107 degrees when we're out there and since we'll be hiking most of the trip and doing a ton of driving, I figure that there's a 50/50 chance that this will be the last blog that you ever read. I figure that either I'll end up in the script of The Hills Have Eyes 3 or keel over from heat exhaustion.. Who Knows?

I haven't blogged lately because I've been struggling to get 3 weeks of work done in 3 days. Here's a short version of Entertain Me for those of you who look to my movie/game/TV recommendations like Elaine Benes looked to Vincent; the insane kid who offered recommendations on what movies to watch.

So here goes:

• Breach: Might be one of the best movies I've seen in awhile.
• The Guardian: The last thing I expected when I got this from Netflix was a good movie. I was very pleasantly surprised.
• Death of a President: Disturbing as all hell.
• Sicko: Excellent movie, but depressing as hell.
• Season 4 of Rescue Me: Excellent so far.
• Man Vs. Wild: Bear Grylls is a sick bastard. And I hate him because there's a 90/10 that if my wife ever meets him in person that she'll leave me.
• John From Cincinnati: I can't figure out if I'm on the verge of never watching the show again or if I'm on the verge of it becoming my favorite show on TV.
• Season 4 of Entourage: Decent so far, but not as great as Seasons 1-3.
• Dirt (XBox 360): Phenomenal rally sport racing game that is only single player. Which is weird for a racing game.

I'll be back from the trip on July 11th and will definitely post a long blog on our trip...unless I end up in the Hills Have Eyes 3. ....

Climbing a Hop-less Mountain

I am about to climb the biggest hill of my entire life...no, I'm not talking about hiking in the Grand Canyon next week when my wife and I are vacationing in Arizona...

I'm talking about giving up drinking beer and liquor. I'm doing it so I can get in shape and lose my damn beer belly once and forever. It's about time.



Sure, I may drink during an occassional social situation, but I am giving up drinking beer and liquor on a frequent basis. That's it. It's finished. Sayonora.

Notice that I didn't say I was giving up red wine. I'm Italian. That would be sacrilege.


I'm going to be one cranky bastard. That's for sure....

AC Baby!

My friend Big Balls Robbie (BBR) and I went down to Atlantic City yesterday morning to partake in some 3-6 limit poker at the Trump Taj Mahal. It was a crazy day and let's just say that by the end of the trip, we weren't talking about poker.

We took a bus ride early yesterday morning down to AC for $8. After waiting for a few minutes for a seat we sat down at the same $3-6 table. The table was chock full of fish, androgynous humans and crazy old men. Early on, I was up $50 or so dollars and was catching some great cards. After awhile though, I started to catch a string of crappy cards and really bad beats from some amateurs who played subpar hands to the river and sucked out winning hands on me.

We got up from the table around 1:30 p.m., went to lunch, and then headed to a blackjack table to play a "$250 Match Play" that BBR got through a promotion through Taj. He's a ridiculous high roller so he gets comps like this all of the time. All he had to do was put up $250 of his own money and the casino would match that. Problem was he had to foot that $250 on a single bet. After thinking it over and not wanting to leave AC down $80, I agreed to give him $50 for the bet. If we won, I would be getting back $150, so it was pretty decent odds. That didn't make it less nerve wracking though.

Even more nerve wracking was the fact that we picked a blackjack table that had just opened up. No one was sitting at the table and the dealer was waiting for people before initially shuffling the cards. We stood at the table for 10 minutes as she shuffled the cards every which way. I was literally shaking in my boots, saying the Our Father, crossing my fingers and toes as my stomach did death defying somersaults only seen performed before by the most malnourished Olympic gymnasts.

And then we got down to playing the only blackjack hand of the day...

The first card the dealer dealt us was an Ace. We let out a big yelp and starting yelling for a blackjack.
The dealer dealt herself a down card. ....
And the dealer dealt us......ANOTHER ACE!
And she dealt herself a dreaded face card.

At that moment, BBR asks me for an additional $50 and I say "no way in hell." His belief is that you always have to split Aces no matter what the dealer is showing face up. Not my belief though. Especially when there's $50 of my own money riding on the hand.

So BBR goes into his wallet and pulls out another $250 to split the Aces. And there's $750 on the friggin table...$500 in chips and $250 in the match play.

The dealer splits our Aces and deals us.....ANOTHER ACE on our first Ace....and a 2 on the initial Ace we split. I haven't played blackjack in such a long time that I actually forgot that when you split Aces you can't split them a third time and you also don't get another card...So, I was confused when the dealer went to play out her hand.

Before I knew it, the dealer plays out her hand and flips over a 3, giving her a 13. She then deals herself a third card and ..... BUSTS with a 23! We were screaming at the table and attracted quite a crowd when the dealer paid us out $750. $150 for me and $600 for BBR.

The next thing I know, the crowd of people lift me and BBR off the floor and start chanting our names. I felt like Rocky Balboa after he knocked out Drago in Rocky IV...