Happy Birthday Donnie Baseball

I've already chronicled my slight infatuation with former Yankees First Baseman Don Mattingly -- bordering on the same psycho, bro-mance levels as my affection for Robert Plant and Jack Bauer -- so I won't rehash it here.

All I'll say is: Happy 48th Birthday, Don Mattingly. Hope you got my card.

...I'm kidding....seriously. I am...

Just Yesterday

It’s been 25 days since you left
But I still feel like I saw you just yesterday.

I love you Mom.
And while the pain might subside a little.
It is and will always be there.

These past 25 days:
I raged.
I cried.
I dreamed.
I’ve accepted it.
But when I go to sleep and when I wake up, it’s still the same.

It’s an empty feeling.
A numb one.
I can’t explain it any better than that.

I’ve had flashbacks too numerous to count.
And I can’t make them stop.

I try.
But they don’t.

And still something is pulling me through these days.
Something that I can’t even see.

I think it’s you looking down on me from heaven, Mom.
Even though I still feel like I just saw you yesterday.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter...a day late.

What's Keeping Me Going...

Hurting Down Deep

Mom

I’ve stopped crying uncontrollably since you left, but I still feel a tremendous pain now that you are gone.

I fall to sleep – not well – thinking of you
And I wake up…still thinking.
You are all that is in my mind
And I still can’t believe that you are gone.

Since you left I’ve reconnected with my old acquaintances and pals
Who relived their stories for me on how you touched their lives
From the people who called you Aunt
To the people you worked with.
And it makes me both happy and sad…
To think of the lives you touched
To think of the times we had.
And to think of what will never be.

You were the driving force in my life.
And now that you are gone I feel like there’s no one behind the wheel.
I'm simply numb.

We will all try to live on
But I know it won’t ever be the same again ...without you.

And the pain will always be there down deep
As I think fondly of you Mom.