A Yankee Divorce

Did anyone in the history of the world have a worst day yesterday than Steve Swindal, current Chairman of the Yankees? Yesterday Jessica Steinbrenner, daughter of Yankees owner George Steinbrenner filed divorce papers against Swindal, thereby not only ending their 23 year marriage, but also ending any possibility that Swindal would become the future owner of the Yankees after Steinbrenner kicks the bucket in a few.....So, not only did he lose his wife yesterday, but he also lost the chance to lead the most valuable property in sports. Some people estimate that the Yankees are worth approximately $1 billion.

Steve Swindal's day yesterday worse than General Custer before Little Big Horn...worse than Napolean's day at Waterloo....worse than Yoshi Matsui's day after she looked up into the sky and was greeted by an atom bomb in 1945...

Should be a messy divorce...

Sanjaya Achieves Keith Hernandez Status

It's clear to me that Sanjaya Malakar doesn't give a crap any longer. He knows he should have been voted off of American Idol weeks ago and has topped himself each week by his increasingly hideous singing and ever ridiculous haircuts. Last night took the cake as Sanjaya donned a crazy-ass mohawk hair-do. It's clear to me that Sanjaya has achieved"Keith Hernandez" status.

For those Seinfeld watchers out there, Keith Hernandez, former 1B for the 1980s New York Mets was on a few episodes of the sitcom and did whatever you he wanted to do - like get to second base with Elaine Benes on the first date - because well, as he said to himself "I'm Keith Hernandez!" and he could do whatever he wanted to.

That's the point that Sanjaya is at. He knows his singing sucks and he also knows that no matter what all of the teeny boppers will vote for him, so he does whatever the hell he wants. He acts surprised when he's not the person voted off, but he knows all along that he can do whatever the hell he wants because he's Sanjaya Malakar.

Big Year Coming for A-Rod

I referenced it a few weeks ago, and I wanted to devote a full blog to something I feel really strongly about. "I don't ever think it's appropriate to boo professional athletes on your team." Sure they make a ton of money, but so does the MLB, NFL, NBA and the players are the sole reason for that. So, unless a player on your team murders someone, beat their wife or hurts little kids, I don't think there's any reason at all to boo them.

It's this belief that makes me completely bewildered in the fact that a majority of fans in New York boos Alex Rodriguez. It's completely ridiculous. The guy is a perennial All-Star, switched from his born position of SS to 3B when he came to the Yankees and consistently averages 40 HRs and 120 RBIs every single year. And the more that people boo for A-Rod, the more I cheer for him and root for him to do well. But it seems like the booing has definitely gotten to A-Rod and with that he devolved from the best player in baseball to a mediocre beer league player.

It's true that he hasn't been clutch from time to time. And most people will say that he amassed those numbers in garbage time with no pressure when the Yankees were winning by 8 runs. Well, that has happened sometimes, but it's ridiculous to think he doesn't hit in the clutch, because he does. (everyone forgets when he had a great 2005 ALDS against the Twins) .

People boo not because A-Rod isn't a clutch player. They boo because of his supposed rift with team captain/poster boy Derek Jeter. Jeter is the mythical hero and Alex is the villian. And it's all just a bunch of bullshit. Don't get me wrong. Derek Jeter is a great player and probably one of my favorite Yankees of all time, but when it comes down to it, he is a shitty captain.

Do you think Don Mattingly or any other Yankees captain wouldn't stick up for A-Rod the way things have been going since A-Rod became a Yankee? But Derek doesn't stick up for him, because he is pissed at A-Rod for something that happened years ago. Derek isn't a big enough man to forgive and forget though, I think it's important that A-Rod came out during the first day of spring training and be honest about everything...about how if he doesn't perform this year, he expects to get run of the City by the fans...about how him and Jeter used to be best friends and now they aren't. I'm fine with that and I really think it was a relief off A-Rod's shoulder's. Hopefully he'll be a more relaxed player this year.

Coming Clean

I have a confession to make. Two Sundays ago, I didn't accidently spill bacon grease on my left hand and arm... It was Jack Bauer who spilled bacon grease on my hand and arm during a 2-hour torture session, where he tried to get me to admit that I was behind the secret plot to kill Anna Nicole Smith by poisoning her with a concoction of Viagra, McDonalds Happy Meals and horse tranquilizers.

An Underachieving Off-season

Last season, as you could tell from the tone of my past blogs, the New York Giants underachieved significantly. Was it the fact that they hated playing for Head Coach Tom Coughlin? Was it the fact that there were too many injured players on the team like past seasons? Or was it the fact that there was too much division in the locker room? I don't know the answer to any of it, but I definitely know the answer wasn't to go into the postseason and do completely nothing in free agency except re-sign center Shaun O'Hara.

Trust me, I liked the O'Hara resigning and believe that the Giants O-line has gotten better over the past few years because of their cohesiveness of working together. But in that same vein, why are you cutting Luke Petitgout - despite his injury and constant offside penalties last year. Why are you cutting Lavar Arrington - who showed promise before he got injured - when we have no one to replace him?

Is the Giants new GM Jerry Reese retarded, stupid or just not willing to make any splashes in free agency this offseason because of the lack of Giants cap space and ridiculous contracts that have already been offered to Free Agents.

The only thing I've liked about this Giants offseason is the trade of Tim Carter - who did absolutely NOTHING here with the Giants - for Reuben Droughns. Droughns is an above average RB, but again, it's a trade that doesn't make much sense due to the fact that he's a bruising running back and we already have one of those in Brandon Jacobs.

This offseason, just doesn't make much sense to me and I'm at a loss at what type of team will emerge next season. Will Eli continue to regress further or was his long-time girlfriend and soon to be wife smart to say yes -- to his proposal last week -- before he turns into a superstar that gets as much ass as he wants? Will injuries derail the Giants season again? Will the players continue to hate Tom Coughlin? And will we be worse than last year's sorry 8-8 record? Could we possibly be worse than last year?

And why the hell am I writing about the Giants when opening day of the baseball season is 9 days away??

Blog Catchup as I'm Stuck in Hell.

Because I was worried that a 3 p.m. conference call would go past 5 p.m. and tear into my weekday, I took the call from my cell phone and came home early. Now, I'm stuck in the hell that is my wife watching a Tivo'd version of last Monday's 2 hour Dancing with the Stars Season 4 premiere. Shoot me now.

Some recent thoughts that I've been meaning to blog on....

1) My tourney pick em blew up and I'm in 7th place with no shot of winning. Even though some of my teams are still alive - including my predicted champ Ohio State - who has survived two near losses. I am however in first place in the tourney pick em where no money is involved. Isn't that how it always happens.
2) My burned hand still hurts like hell. and ...I'm out of my painkillers and Motrin just isn't cutting it.
3) Baseball season starts in 10 days and I can't wait.
4) Did I mention that the withdrawal from videogames is worse than my withdrawal from painkillers.

Oooh, boobs are popping out of this Russian chicks dress on Dancing with the Stars. Maybe I should be watching.

Here's a Funny Joke

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Maine and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from New Jersey. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.